About Me
Welcome to my blog! My name is Valerie and I am one of many baby boomers who take care of their parent(s) or other family members. My journey in elder care began in the summer of 2008. That’s when I learned we had to move my god-sister from Pennsylvania to live with me in Georgia. Like most caregivers, I was unprepared, unequipped and untrained; however, those are things I learned along the way.
This blog’s purpose is to share my experiences as a family caregiver. New and seasoned caregivers, need to know they are not alone. After taking care of several elderly family members, I have seen and heard more than I care to admit. In addition to my mother, my journey includes my god sister, my aunt, and my cousin. The goal here is to be open and honest, by sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.
Why did I title this blog, “An Unlikely Caregiver? I thought a caregivers personality is different from mine. I believed caregivers are extroverts who give warm fuzzies, and hugs. I’m not any of those. I am an organized, strategic and detailed introvert! I get things done. That’s my forte. I survived being out of my comfort zone and I’m able to navigate this thing we call being a caregiver.
Sixteen years ago, I had no idea I would become a caregiver and I certainly didn’t expect to be taking care of family members for almost two decades. Right now, I’m in my family room/makeshift office. Before I became a caregiver, I had an office/craft room on the first level of our town home. Now, that area is where I take care of family, most recently my mother. Before I became a caregiver, I didn’t realize how drastically my life would change and the unexpected expenses we would face. Rich Dad Poor Dad calls these surprise costs "Doodads!"
My caregiver journey began in 2008 when I became my god-sister’s caregiver, she was 81 years old. Gladys was a widow with no children. Even though she was 25 years older than me, we were raised like sisters because I became the other child my god-mother couldn’t have. I lived with my godparents and Gladys until I was 11. My family was her family.
If you’re a retirement age and a caregiver like me and the person you care for lives with you, your so-called golden years may have to be redefined. My golden years are rusty. Sometimes people say, “Oh, you’re retired and living your best life.” Um, this is not it! My image of living my best life isn’t what I’m living. I’m thankful that my mother is still with us and I’m able to take care of her, but I imagined something more relaxing.
Of the four family members that I took care of, Mom is the most difficult. The difficulty started the day we made Mom move in 2022. In the summer of 2011, I moved my mother and aunt from Tennessee to Georgia. Mom needed help with my aunt who was 84 years old, deaf, blind and had dementia. Mom was 81. We moved them here so I could help take care of my aunt. After my aunt died, Mom chose to live alone. In 2021 we realized it wasn’t safe for her to live alone.
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